Stonks

Stonks are stocks but named stonks. Every time Patcail adds a stonk, it's named "Stonk (insert letter after previous stonk)"

Stonks work like this: You buy a stonk, patcail rolls some dice, and determines if it goes up, down, or stays the same. Stonks work so that if the value is lower than its original value, it increases on average, and vice versa. To sell a stonk, you have to do !sell patcail (insert name of stonk). Then type in how much the stonk is worth.

margin stonks
Margin stonks are what you buy when you can't afford a stonk. You borrow a stonk from patcail, or maybe 0.1 if 1 is too expensive, and patcail rolls the dice. You get or pay however much you would have had to pay or get if you actually bought the stonk.